I don’t believe in God.

I don’t believe in God.
But if God reads blogs,
keep the people safe tonight.
All the people. Even the ones I do not agree with.
Keep them safe from harm.

I don’t believe in God,
but I stare at my stomach these days
and I pray that does not fill with a child
until I can promise that it is okay to come out.

I don’t believe in God.
But if God reads blogs, I am praying for there to be no Muslim Trayvon tonight.
I am praying for the ghosts of Michael Brown and Alton Sterling and Sandra Bland and Emmett Till to rest, in whatever peace they have,
And not welcome new members to their ranks.
Perhaps God could beckon America to whisper the name ‘Philando,’ over and over and over, until it is no longer a whisper but a song composed of tears.

I don’t believe in God.
But I beg for God to open my eyes further
To what I have missed.
Someone has turned on the light and now I see.
My eyes are hurting. Open them further for me anyway.

I don’t believe in God,
but parks and trees and rivers are really great
And if you could keep them from being poisoned, God,
I would really appreciate it.

I don’t believe in God
but I figure this is worth a try
Kind of like calling your Congressman
Who is still a man, probably
and who is just about as likely to listen.

And I don’t believe in God
but I do believe in people
Or at least I did. I’m less certain now.

I don’t believe in God.
But if I did, I’d wonder what you’re thinking.

20 thoughts on “I don’t believe in God.

  1. I believe you have one typo: I don’t believe in God,
    but I stare at my stomach these days
    and I pray it does not fill with a child
    until I can promise that it is okay to come out.

    Please write for me? At WeeklyHubris.com?

  2. The “dark night of the soul” has descended upon you because you are a thinking feeling individual. May you find peace at the end of your journey.

  3. Real and poignant – I share the despair…and what such naïveté on my part to have missed the numbers of those in such misery to elect to make more.

    But, I have felt the presence of God in the little and grand miracles that I have seen and heard far beyond circumstance; and I believe God is much like a parent who must let us learn some important lessons – yet again – sad as they are.

    And I am gluing my every hope to the belief that this nightmare will be brought to light soon – very soon, so that love and truth may be more evident than before. Truth wins always and forever…eventually.

    • BINGO! God is all we have. Call it what you want; Karma or God’s. The beauty of it all, is we make our own choices, even if they’re bad choices, it’s our choice by free will. God’s there to pick up the pieces when we admit & acknowledge that we indeed need God’s help. If God wasn’t watching I doubt we’d still be here. God’s got more up the sleeves than we know about! Faith will bring us through.

  4. people have always said that this or that time was no time to bring a child into this world – the hundred year war, Attila the hun time, world wars 1 and 2, being a black slave, being a white slave…and yet.. and yet – life has so many beautiful moments, so much loveliness and kindness are to be found – it is not all bleak, and if you are feeling that… and who does not?… this too shall pass. And children in particular bring so much about what is right about humanity to the fore. You are a lovely soul – even if you don’t believe you have one 🙂

    • There’s many a blessing to be had everyday; if we choose to open our eyes & ears. These times will pass; good always wins, light always chases out the darkness, Hope.

    • The difference is that now, we can actually choose when to have a child. We have bodily autonomy in a way that was not possible for slaves any of the people in the time periods you described (which, btw, were super problematic given the amount of RAPE that goes on during wars and slavery). Children are no longer mysterious blessings or accidents that just happen. And if you don’t think it’s right to bring a child into the world, you are no longer forced to.

  5. Do you want to believe in God? Or at least be challenged? openlettertoman.com has a letter that will make you think. And believe.

  6. I’m thinking you wonder too much about God and I confirm it is best to believe him without questions because ask too many, and you might regret them without being sorry for what you get.

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